Interestingly, the day after I posted the last one, I completed a post, put it up on Preview and then didn't post it, accidentally, of course. I thought it was posted. I really did. But, I didn't. Then, the next day, when I realized it hadn't been posted, I reread it and trashed it. It sucked. I hated it.
I am not sure why this is hard, but it really truly is. Sorry for the slow downs, but it will have to come in fits and spurts instead of in a flow. I apologize for that.
Meanwhile, my friend Robin at Motherhood Deleted posted again about the post on OriginsNSW by Rohan McEnor, God's Will or God Swill, Rohan is a Theology Major and this is an excerpt from the book he is writing that has the working title, "Father to the Fatherless: what the Bible really says about adoption." I can hardly wait to read it, if this is an example of his writing skills....simply brilliant!
The thing I noticed was that the article was on a page titled, FATHERS SPEAKING OUT. This is particularly interesting at this time because of the current case of Grayson Vaughn, the little boy whose father has been fighting an epic battle to regain custody of his son from the kidnappers who are holding him against court orders and good manners. Lorraine and Jane have been talking aobut it at some length on Firsmother Forum. You can read all about it. They have detailed it beautifully, and there is no reason to go into it all again here, as it has been done well. We have seen that smug entitlement time and again from Baby Richard, to Baby Evelyn Bennett, and each time I see it, I am again appalled at their sheer Gall!!!
I am finding it encouraging that the fathers really are speaking out! I noticed that on OriginsNSW website and that made me think of the fathers' part in the loss of their children to adoption. If the fathers had stepped up and even acknowledged their part in the conception perhaps there wouldn't be six million (yes, that's right, SIX MILLION) adoptees from that time.
First of all, the adoptee, Sarah, had actually reunited with her rocker Dad in the 1980's but their reunion faltered until recently....after her adoptive mother died. Hmmmm, never heard THAT before *snark*
Then, as if that wasn't cliche enough, I read this....
Rod was an unknown 17-year-old vocalist who was a few years away from his first break in the late Sixties with The Jeff Beck Band when he met art student Susannah Boffey, also 17, at a party.
The pair embarked on a year-long relationship before Susannah discovered she was pregnant. Susannah, initially, wanted to keep the child, even though Rod had told her he was too young to have a baby.
After Sarah was born, he asked her to give the baby away and, after she refused, the couple split up. After struggling to raise her daughter alone for several months, Susannah finally agreed to give Sarah up for adoption.
The natural mother, Susannah, the art student who tried for months to keep her child, despite pressure from Rod and pressure, I am sure from the society around her, but finally succumbed and surrendered, is mentioned again in passing, when Sarah, the adoptee who is becoming so close to her Dad, the great guy...
‘I met her a few times a long time ago, but we don’t get on.'Now, PLEASE, tell me why this isn't a surprise, but it still infuriates me?! Ah, fathers...those Rascals!
9 comments:
Hey at least he has acknowledged her as his child which is more than some of us got!
What bothers me is that she dissed the mother who wanted to keep her while hanging on to the father who didn't want her at all. Rod Stewart is no hero for acknowledging his daughter. That is and was his responsibility. I just hate it that this woman's Natural Mother is getting the shitty end of the stick while rich, old dad is coming up roses. This is heartbreaking for the mother.
I am all for fathers speaking up and taking responsibility. Wonderful!
But I definitely have to agree with Robin. Mothers, for some weird reason, take the rap and the ugliness, while daddy is pristine. What kills me is that the story said he was the one that didn't want her, not the mother that at least tried!
That is the worst part of my reunion, my daughter doesn't want me, and her father is "just another ni****" - her words....
However, if her father was alive, I am almost positive she would try that...sadly for her, he loved her, but he loved me too and he would never allow her to treat me badly no matter what the situation between he and I.
Robin, Lori,
That was my point exactly. The poor thing tried to parent alone, and I am sure, at that time, the pressure on her was ENRORMOUS! But, after months of enduring it, she finally surrendered. Now, the prick who didn't want the kid, who deserted them both, is suddenly the hero for acknowledging her NOW? WTF!
And, the poor young woman who valiantly tried, against all odds, to do it alone, and was probably traumatized beyond recognition in the process, "met her a few times, but we don't get on....??????"
EX-CUUUUUSE ME!!!! This happens all too often. The mother's feet are held to the fire, they are the bad guys, the difficult ones, but the Dads, those scamps, STILL are not held accountable!!! What do mothers have to Freaking DO??? Walk through freaking FIRE to prove they love the child????
Then we get to the loving and adored adopter woman. You know the one...the one who apparently left the property to the son she gave BIRTH to and not to the daughter she acquired. Otherwise why was the property sold out from under her, or why were there not some kind of considerations made for her? this is the woman she worships and grieves? The one who favored one child over the other at the end of the day!
Others may have seen this as a sweet story of reunion. I see this as the epitome of all that is wrong in adoption, in surrender, in reunion. This story just simply SUCKS! It isn't a love story of a father and daughter. It is a slap in the face at the situation of every single mother who ever lost a child to adoption!!! IT INFURIATED ME!!!
I'm glad I'm not the only one sitting in a pot of steam over this one. Read about it. It's interesting. But don't make a hero out of that jerk.
‘I met her a few times a long time ago, but we don’t get on.'
I'm going to be in hot water for this but I don't see how this is exactly a "diss".
It seems she is just stating a fact as she sees it. She's not laying blame. "We don't get on." implies fault on both their parts.
I'm sure there is a lot more to the story however in all fairness, she did not diss her mother.
There is no way the mother did not get the shit end of the stick, both when she got pregnant AND with reunion. What is implied is that Stewart is a good guy in this matter, and he isn't.
Kitta here:
Rod Stewart doesn't impress me. He is just another guy who dumped his girlfriend and kid.
They were in the way of his career...disgusting.
This is lovely too.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/11/
01/rod-stewart-i-burst-into-tears-when-penny-said-she-was-pregnant-115875-22679499/
""That was very tough on Sarah," says Rod. "I emailed her to let her know I was thinking about her. I was too young to know what being a father was all about when Sarah came along, adoption seemed the best option. She had great adoptive parents who were her mum and dad and I thought that was the best way to leave things. But then her birth mother upset the apple cart and contacted her and everything changed."
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