Women by Men....International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day, March 8.  Not such a much in the US of A, because here men are what its all about, despite rumors (and efforts) to the contrary.  Women seem to have really achieved little in the past decades, despite our struggles. 

The other day, I heard recent figures on the status of women, especially in the workforce and in education.  Women now outnumber men significantly on the college campuses, in  the graduating classes from colleges and in pursuit of post graduate degrees.  Women still earn $0.80 for every $1.00 earned by a men. Despite years of doing what was necessary to compete, men are still valued higher than women.

We see the very same thing in our particular interest area, Adoption.  If an "Expert Opinion" is desired for an article, a quote or an interview, there are several goto sources that are selected.  One is the National Council for Adoption, a lobbyist organization that represents Adoption Agencies around the nation.  The other, The Evan B. Donaldson Institute, formed on behalf of one Adoption Agency, Spence-Chapin, named for their one-time president when they noticed that there was a "need"  (from their website)...

"The Adoption Institute was established in 1996 through the initiative of the Board of Spence-Chapin Services to Families and Children, which saw a need for an independent and unbiased adoption research and policy organization. Evan B. Donaldson was a member of the Spence-Chapin Board of Directors continuously from 1977 on, serving as president from 1986 until her death in 1994."

OBVIOUSLY, when you want "independent and unbiased" research and policy, how much better to make sure that it fits your agenda ...just start if yourself!  Clearly, when one is looking for best practices for hen house guarding, who better to offer "independent and unbiased" research than the foxes.  If you want to offer better marketing strategies, wrapped up in slick salesmanship, Adam Pertman of the Evan B. Donaldson Institute (or EBD) is your man!   As an adopter, he DOES have some first-hand information on adoption, and as a representative of an agency and an agency think tank, he is the perfect representative to NOT say anything that will show adoption in a bad light.  However, he will not tell the truth about mothers and adoptees.  Not perhaps because he is malicious, although that remains to be seen, but simply  because he has three strikes against him.  First, he is not an adoptee, but an adopter.  Second, he is not a mother of loss but the recipient of that loss.  Third, he is a MAN. 

How can a man EVER be an authority on Women?  It is insulting to even suggest that he is.   It would be the same thing as going to a woman, a self-proclaimed authority on Men's issues, and asking her to describe what it is like to pee standing up.  She can use charts, do research, analyze studies and make a power point demonstration, but one thing she CANNOT do is to even begin to understand what it is like to have a penis.   Men would be outraged if that happened, as are the mothers who have for years said, when hearing that Pertman is again going to speak on our behalf...ADAM PERTMAN, PLEASE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP NOW....WE CAN TALK FOR OURSELVES!

Motherhood Deleted, Daily Bastardette, Mike Doughney and Baby Love Child, mother and adoptees, have posted the same thoughts, and it is comforting to know that we are on the same page with this idea that it is insulting that people who either benefited from the loss, earn their livings from the loss of mothers and their children or both, as in the case of Pertman, would be so presumptuous as to speak FOR them as if they were elected to be the spokesman for us.  Nonsense!  There are many well-educated, well-spoken, bright, articulate mothers and adoptees who can, will and should be called upon to speak on their own behalf.

At a conference several years ago, in Austin, TX, Pertman was the keynote speaker.  It was right after the EBD had released their White Paper, Safeguarding the Rights and Well-Being of Birthparents in the Adoption Process, I overheard Pertman addressing a small group of adopters and paps outside the main conference room following his presentation.  As I walked past, I overheard Pertman telling them "If we had helped them (the mothers) then, we wouldn't be parents today."  A very simple statement.  A very simple truth.  It was so obvious, I don't know why it even bore stating, but it suddenly brought the entire issue into focus.  How could mothers and adoptees allow this man to speak for us?  It is self-defeating.  So once again, Adam, you are superfluous and redundant....